 | Getting More: How To Negotiate To Achieve Your Goals In The Real World |
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Product Description
Negotiation is part of every human encounter, and most of us do it badly. Whether dealing with family, a business or diplomacy, people often fail to meet their goals in every country and context. They focus on power and "win-win" instead of relationships and perceptions. They don't find enough things to trade. They think others should be rational when they should be dealing with emotions. They get distracted from their goals.
In this revolutionary book, leading negotiation practitioner and professor Stuart Diamond draws on the research and practice of 30,000 people he has taught and advised in 45 countries over two decades to outline specific, practical and better ways to deal with others. They range from country and corporate leaders to administrative assistants, lawyers, housewives, students and laborers. To this he adds his 40-year experience as an executive, Harvard-trained attorney and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist.
Getting More is based on Professor Diamond's award-winning negotiations course at The Wharton Business School, where it has been the most sought-after course by students for 13 years. It contains a powerful toolkit that can be used by anyone in any situation: with kids and jobs, travel and shopping, business, politics, relationships, cultures, partners and competitors.
The advice is addressed through the insightful stories of hundreds of people who have used Diamond's tools with great success. A 20% savings on an item already on sale. An extra $300 million profit in a business. A woman from India getting out of her own arranged marriage. A 4 year old willingly brushing his teeth and going to bed.
Conventional wisdom is challenged on almost every page. Instead of "win-win," it sometimes makes more sense lose today to get more tomorrow. The use of power, Diamond cautions, too often causes retaliation, harms relationships and costs credibility. Walking out is almost never as good as understanding the other person's perceptions and fixing the problem. Not everything is about money; intangibles such as valuing others will often get you much more in return. Even the hardest bargainers can be tamed by using their own public standards against them.
The key to getting more is finding the right tools for each situation; being more flexible, and better understanding the other party. These strategies are invisible, until you learn them. Once you see them, they will always be there to help you get more.
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #1263 in Books
- Published on: 2010-12-28
- Released on: 2010-12-28
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Hardcover
- 416 pages
Features
- ISBN13: 9780307716897
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Positive feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Q&A with Author Stuart Diamond
A. It will change your life. It will improve almost every interaction you have with other people for the rest of your days: at work, with your friends, with family—including kids and parents—as well as with travel, buying and selling things, even in everyday conversation. It's also fun to read: it contains the anecdotes of several hundred people who got more. You don't have to wade through it—the practical things to do are right there, stated clearly amid interesting stories.
Q. How much money will I make or save?
A. The average MBA student makes or saves $10,000 during a 12-week semester; for the average executive the figure is about $1 million. This includes raises at work, better dealings on buying or selling a house or car, previously unimaginable discounts in stores, more value for what you sell, more profit and lower costs in your business. The tools and strategies are based on psychology; many seem to work like magic, my students tell me. Of course, they are not magic, but a structured set of strategies and tools that are invisible to those who don't know them.
Q. What intangible benefits will I get?
A. In a thousand different ways, you will gain more control over your life. Hard bargainers will not get the better of you. You will learn to control your emotions, and get commitments that stick. You'll start talking to estranged friends and family members. You will get more power and meet your goals. You'll learn how to get that promotion.
Q. How is this book different from other negotiation books?
A. Since the world is more emotional than rational, Getting More focuses on understanding the emotions of others and dealing with them. Instead of forcing others to do things through power or leverage, Getting More focuses on finding, understanding and valuing the perceptions of others. This gives you a more precise place to start, gets them in the mood to negotiate and is thus much more likely to result in agreement. The use of raw power, practiced worldwide, causes retaliation, wrecks relationships and often makes the power-user the issue, causing a loss of credibility. And it urges people not to limit themselves to the facts of any deal, but to use all the thoughts, feelings, needs and experiences of each party to broaden the scope of discussion. This makes deals easier to reach. This advice is psychologically based, often counterintuitive and far more successful than traditional negotiation advice, which focuses on leverage and rational actors. As such, finding the pictures in the heads of each party is the key to more successful negotiations.
Q. How do you know these tools and strategies work?
A. I have taught 30,000 people in 45 countries over a 20 year period: from country and corporate leaders to administrative assistants; doctors, lawyers, school children, parents, professionals and workers of all types. From these people, I have collected more than half a million pages of journals and researched or reviewed more than a thousand studies on various aspects of negotiation. I also am an experienced negotiator as a business executive and attorney in industries ranging from aviation to agriculture to medical services to high technology. I have carefully documented that these tools work, and they work four times as well as traditional confrontational negotiation, studies show. I have documented thousands of cases where the participants' lives have changed. The process I teach solved the 2008 Hollywood Writers strike, made hundreds of millions of dollars for some companies and got four-year-olds to willingly brush their teeth and go to bed. The tools are even starting to be used by the U.S. military in Afghanistan to gain the support of tribal leaders against the Taliban. The course has been the most popular at The Wharton Business School, often ranked #1 among business schools, for 13 years.
Q. In particular, how can the tools of Getting More help in raising children?
A. The tools in Getting More are especially good for raising well-behaved, loving and yet independent-minded children. It just requires most parents to think a little differently about the process. First, understand and value your child's perceptions. Maybe they are watching TV to relieve stress, just like you have a drink after work. Even making the effort to understand that will make them grateful and want to do things for you in return. Second, consult your son or daughter on things and give them control of some decisions – picking a restaurant, when to do homework, what toothpaste to use. Kids know they have little power; give them some and they will listen to you more. Third, kids love to trade. Trade TV for homework, chores for games, etc. It's not a bribe; you are teaching kids about life, which is about quid pro quo. Discuss what happens if someone breaks a commitment. I have an 8-year-old son. I've been using these tools since he understood language. We have a great relationship.
Review
A former Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter for the New York Times, Diamond (Law/Univ. of Pennsylvania) debuts with a superb how-to based on his immensely popular course on negotiation. The author prepares for any negotiation by asking himself, "What are my goals? Who are 'they'? What will it take to persuade them?" Depending on the answers, he then draws selectively on bargaining tools and strategies described in this anecdote-rich book. Others in his field assume that most people in a negotiation are rational. Not so, says Diamond. People in the real world—whether friends, store clerks or CEOs—tend to be emotional and irrational in their interactions. Since the People involved make up 90 percent of a negotiation (substance accounts for only 10 percent), you must negotiate based on your understanding of "the pictures in the head of the other party"—a phrase Diamond frequently uses to underscore that psychology trumps the issues at the bargaining table. Successful negotiators must prepare, learn what makes others tick (through research and small talk), take small steps, communicate clearly, turn problems into opportunities, avoid deceit and embrace differences. Above all, writes the author, they must stay focused on specific goals and connect with the other party. Many of Diamond's suggestions are counterintuitive…This immensely useful book will have wide appeal and leave many readers anxious to put their new skills to work.
---Kirkus
About the Author
STUART DIAMOND is one of the world's leading experts on negotiation. He has advised many Fortune 500 companies, from Google and Microsoft to Prudential and JP Morgan. In addition to The Wharton School, he has also taught at Harvard, Columbia, NYU, USC and Berkeley, and advised the U.N. and the World Bank. A former associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project at Harvard Law School, he has headed a variety of business ventures, from agriculture to high technology. He holds a J.D. from Harvard Law School and an MBA from Wharton. Previously, Diamond was a Pulitzer Prize–winning reporter for the New York Times. He lives with his wife and son in the Philadelphia area. For more information on Stuart visit: www.gettingmore.com
Customer Reviews
"Getting More" is a Must Read - Review by a Former Student
I studied negotiation with Prof. Diamond as a student at Penn Law. His class is legendary, both at the Law School and Wharton, and it's nearly impossible to get into, at least at the Law School. I got into the class as a 3L, and I was amazed by how well these techniques work. Prof. Diamond encourages his students to use the techniques to go out and haggle with their credit card companies, cell phone carriers, cable companies, and landlords in hopes of getting more from them. By the end of the semester, I most assuredly had gotten more. In fact, when I later called Comcast Cable to try to extend the free six months of HBO and Shotime I'd received while in Prof. Diamond's class, the customer service representative said, "Ok, I'll give you another six months free, but this is the last promotion you're getting. I'm looking at your account, and you have more free promotions than most Comcast employees." (As it turns out, that was not the last freebie Comcast would give me.)
But as time wore on and law school receded into the rearview mirror, I stopped practicing Prof. Diamond's techniques as I had when I took his class. Gradually, my skills faded, although I still brushed them off every now and again when the situation clearly called for them. But I'd stopped contacting my cable company and other service providers to get free goodies, and I slowly forgot just how applicable Prof. Diamond's methods are to nearly every interaction. In short, I started getting less. And then "Getting More" came out.
I realized about a dozen pages into the book that by failing to practice these tools, I was indeed getting less. This book really could not have arrived at a better time for me. And I can confirm that "Getting More" captures the negotiation course's ideas and strategies to a tee. Many of the phrases Prof. Diamond uses in the book - such as "Be incremental," "Think about the pictures in their heads," "Be extreme, or come to me," and "Is it your policy to [insert behavior]?" - appear verbatim in my course notes.
I'm happy to report that after reading Prof. Diamond's book, I am back to getting more. Just last week, I used standards to buy my wife a pair of skis for less than the ski shop had paid for them. The next time I find myself forgetting to use these tools (and hopefully there won't be a next time), I'll re-read "Getting More." In fact, this is one of those rare books that probably should be re-read annually.
The only downside to this book is that I and others had to pay $40,000 a year at Penn Law or Wharton to learn Prof. Diamond's techniques, while "Getting More" costs a mere $13.85. The tools won't work if they're not used, as I learned, and money won't just fall out of the binding when you open the book. But for those who use Prof. Diamond's techniques, the $13.85 investment will come back to them hundreds of times over, or more. "Getting More" is a must-read.
Very interesting and successful negotiations in real life!
The book starts with an interesting little story by a young girl on how she and her boy friend got onboard a plane by using six separate negotiation tools, which are very useful but invisible to almost everybody, though they were late and the door to the Jetway was shut.
The story is so unique that readers of the book will remember the story and the tools easily for a life time.
Readers, including kids, are able to acquire more power to live happily because the book demonstrates very interesting and successful negotiations in real life.
The book is well written and wonderful.
I am impressed. Highly recommend!
author Sam
The Negotiation book you can't put down!!!
Buy this book! It will change your life. There are few books one reads and thinks, "this book could change the world." This is one of them. It's much different and much better than what passes for human interaction today. I've tried it, and it works fantastically well. Prof. Diamond makes sure you don't get caught up in who's right or wrong, but that you meet your goals in every encounter: whether with kids, in business, in politics or in the store. He's right that the tools are invisible. Until you know them, you can't see them. And he has the credentials to back him up: Pulitzer Prize, Harvard law graduate, Wharton professor and MBA, international adviser, trainer to the world's leading companies. If you read one book in 2011, read this one.
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