Showing Compassion To Colleagues: Sexual Harassment Or Friendship?

Saturday morning at the diner with my good friend Nancy (name changed to protect the innocent) is usually a lively recant of the week's personal and professional challenges. Nancy is a 51 year old video producer in New York City who has been working feverishly on a project for the past month with a small group of colleagues. This week our conversation focused on her discomfort with the current interpretation of sexual harassment. Her question was how do we express our genuine compassion and friendship and still respect each other's boundaries?

Nancy's colleagues work long hours together in an intimate environment for weeks at a time.  Often sitting in a studio in the dark for long stretches of time, they exchange personal stories and jokes to pass the time, and as a consequence, learn a great deal about each other in a short amount of time. They bond very quickly as a team.

As the project deadline approached this week, stress set in and emotions ran high. The pressure was on to deliver a video of exceptional quality to a major entertainment company. At one point during the week, one of Nancy's female colleagues asked her if she wanted a hug.  Nancy promptly replied that she would appreciate the gesture and they hugged in recognition of the stress and challenges of the week.

Later in the week, Nancy went to comfort her 41 year old male colleague as they sat together reviewing the week's activities. As they talked, she put her hand on this leg as an expression of true compassion and friendship. Her words and gesture were intended to reassure him and let him know that she understood his frustration and appreciated his efforts. He promptly told her to remove her hand from his leg. Wow! Nancy was shocked. Did her gesture of empathy and friendship really come across as inappropriate?

In the current work environment, how do we navigate through situations like this with close colleagues? Do we always have to question ourselves and stop our innate human qualities to reach out and comfort each other? Do we always need to ask permission to comfort and approach a colleague? Is this a factor of the current sensitivity between males and females in the work environment? And lastly, is it possible to be genuine and authentic in an intimate working environment without crossing the line?

Thanks to Bonnie Marcus - Head Over Heels / Blogs Forbes