Saturday, January 30, 2010

10 Rules for Calling In Sick With a Fake Excuse

The gossip website Gawker has come up with a list of seven rules for calling in sick when you aren't actually feeling any worse than you do any other day. Some of its readers must have experience with calling in sick with a fake excuse, because they had some advice of their own. All of these tips could help you detect the next faker.

Gawker claims that there is nothing wrong with calling in with a fake excuse for missing work. Gawker acknowledges that not everyone agrees with its argument. So, Gawker created the rules to help workers avoid suspicion and get away with the fakery.

Here's a summary of the seven rules outlined by Gawker:

  • Never call in sick on Mondays or Fridays (raises red flags that you are taking a 3-day weekend)
  • Never say you had food poisoning (overused and now raises red flags). Gawker recommends using "strep throat."
  • Instead of calling in sick on the first nice day of the season, wait until the second nice day.
  • Wait for a day that you have an important (but not too important) business meeting that you want to avoid. Your boss and co-workers will think that you must be really sick to avoid such a big meeting, Gawker says.
  • Avoid calling in sick when the weather is bad. Show your boss what a trooper you are by braving the bad weather conditions.
  • When the boss is away on vacation, use it as a "work from home day."
  • Never use sick days when you are actually sick.

One of Gawker's readers claimed to have never called in sick with a fake excuse, but most of the readers who commented on the list offered their own tips.

Here are a few of their tips:

  • If you are going to be out on Monday, start planting the seeds during the weekend by e-mailing your boss or changing your Facebook status to indicate that you aren't feeling well and may need to use a sick day.
  • Use an excuse the boss won't question. "Best excuse: Diarrhea. Your boss will NOT ask any further questions," wrote one reader.
  • Take two sick days instead of one. "Some manager at some point in my working career said, 'If you're sick enough to take a sick day, you'd better be sick enough to take two.' And, by God, his theory actually works," another reader wrote.

Thanks to BLR