To Save Your Marriage, Don't Put the Kids First

Modern parenting seems to involve always putting the kids first. But a new book warns this could be harming your children and causing marital problems. Instead, to save your marriage, shift your focus to your relationship, the experts say.

All moms and dads want their kids to be happy -- but many couples are going too far by letting everything revolve around their children.

Family coach and Episcopal minister David Code believes parents have to put their relationship first -- to have the best chance of avoiding breakups and problem children. David warns focusing all your attention on your kids rather than your partner, is the equivalent of an affair, and just as damaging to a marriage.

In his new book, To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First (Crossroad Publishing), he warns trying to be best friends with your kids could lead to problems.

If a relationship is going through a rocky patch, a parent may try to fill the void by becoming too emotionally attached to their child, rather than addressing the real problems before it's too late.

David said: "We are trying too hard to give kids everything, and show them everything and spend all our time with them. This can mess with a child's process of gaining independence.

"We must regain a balance between tending our marriage and nurturing our children.

"When our marriages meet our intimacy needs, we can stop marrying our children. This frees up our kids to build their own identity, learn self-reliance and become happy, independent adults."

Many parents believe the more attention they give their kids, the better they'll turn out. But many of us may be overfocusing on our kids to escape an unfulfilling marriage. As spouses grow more distant in their marriage, they project their distress and needs on to their children. How we hurt our marriages When we over-react to our spouses, we trigger our instinctive fight or flight response which includes arguing, criticizing, blaming and distancing.

Each time you catch yourself blaming your loved one, ask yourself if you're viewing the situation correctly and what is making you anxious.

Look to your past family relationships. Research the way you interacted with siblings and parents to learn where some of your flaws came from and how to improve them.

Tips for Happy Families and Love Lives

Share the high and low points of the day with your spouse to share intimacy.

Make a weekly appointment for sex with your partner as hormones such as oxytocin and vasopressin help you bond.

To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First, by David Code (Crossroad Publishing) is available from amazon.com

Source: YellowBrix, Daily Record; Glasgow (UK)

Zardari Education Background (2 Articles)

Zardari Education Background - A Mystery

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan, March 21 (UPI) -- There appears to be some mystery as to where the co-chairman of the Pakistan People's Party went to school in London.

British officials are having trouble finding the school Asif Ali Zardari is said to have received his graduation or equivalent qualification. The PPP says it was the London School of Economics and Business. But, no one seems to know for sure where that is, Dawn, a Pakistani newspaper, reports.

In a written response to questions about London School of Economics and Business, an Edubase official told Dawn, "I have been unable to find evidence of this institution."

Pakistan officials in 2002 established a rule that a candidate for Parliament must have a certain level of college education.

© 2008 United Press International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Any reproduction, republication, redistribution and/or modification of any UPI content is expressly prohibited without UPI's prior written consent.

www.upi.com / Published: March. 21, 2008 at 1:21 PM
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Zardari a London Graduate: PPP???

LAHORE: Pakistan People's Party (PPP) Co-chairman Asif Ali Zardari is a graduate from London, said PPP spokesman Farhatullah Babar. "He (Mr Zardari) is a graduate from the London School of Economics and Business Studies. You can check it on our party's website," said Mr Babar, responding to a question from Daily Times regarding an article in the New York Times which shed some doubt over Mr Zardari's B Ed degree.

A report published in the New York Times by Jane Perlez on Tuesday says, "In the early 1970s, Mr Zardari went to London." It says that while there, he "attended the London School of Business Studies and received a Bachelor of Education degree. His official biography says he attended a commercial college called Pedinton School. But a search of tertiary educational institutions in London showed no such school, and associates said he did not finish his studies."

Perlez goes on to write, "The question of whether Mr Zardari has a university degree" is relevant "because President [Pervez] Musharraf introduced a law in 2002 that made it compulsory for parliamentary candidates to hold a degree in order to qualify for electoral office." She wrote, referring to "expectations among his political colleagues and in the Pakistani news media that Mr Zardari will run for parliament so that he can then assume the post of prime minister".

However, the article also states that when asked about his degree, Mr Zardari said, "I do have a degree. That is not an issue." According to Perlez, "He said he attended the London School of Business Studies 'much before I was married. I think it's a B Ed degree. I haven't really looked at it,' he said."

www.dailytimes.com.pk / Daily Times Monitor / Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Interesting Info Regarding MS O/S & MS Words

1. You can't create a folder named "con".
Try it! 

2. Write the following text into notepad:
"bush hid the facts" save the file and re-open and see the magic

3. Open Microsoft word and type =rand(200, 99)
and press enter and see the magic About this 3rd fact, the whole Microsoft team, even Bill Gate itself does not know why this happened..

What the New Lingo Means Part I

"CAREER-MINDED": Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people whom just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

 

Thanks to ManageTrainLearn

How Am I Doing?

A young sales representative took time out during her coffee break to make a call from a public phone booth.

She rang a number and asked to speak to the Sales Director. "Could you tell me if the position you advertised some time ago is still vacant?" she asked. There was a pause. "Oh, it's gone. Pardon? You hired someone three months ago and they're doing fine. OK. Sorry to have bothered you. Goodbye."

A caller at the next phone booth couldn't help overhearing and offered her sympathy to the young woman. "Never mind, dear. I'm sure you'll get something soon, " she said. "Oh, no, " said the young lady. "That was my own company I was ringing. I just wanted to know how I was doing."

Moral: Don't Leave People Wondering How They're Doing; Tell Them.

 

Thanks to ManageTrainLearn