Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My Top 10 Radio Ad Beefs

Radio advertising can be great. In fact, it can be fantastic. Just take a look at Luke Sullivan's blog and check out his timeless work on Dunwoody, or the classic ads for Phillips featuring Mel Smith and Griff Rhys-Jones.

Times have certainly changed though. And it's now so bad that I have XM in the car, because radio advertising just makes me want to pull my hair out (as I'm bald, that would have to be armpit hair). I recently switched back to terrestrial radio for a few days, just to see what I'm missing. Here are my current top 10 annoyances.

1) Imitating a news broadcast or radio show
"Back to regular programming in a moment, but first..." All I can say is, you're not fooling anyone.

2) Parroting everything the other actor is saying
What was that number again? So you're saying I can get this free? This is really a limited-time offer? Go away, please.

3) Repeating the number a few hundred times
Call 1-800-shootme. That's 1-800-shootme. That number again, 1-800-shootme. 1-800-SHOOTME!

4) Sound effects featuring police, fire and ambulance sirens
That's clever. Ooh, I'm in the moment. So much so I'm looking everywhere for the accident. And then, I hate your brand forever.

5) Ads done by the clients themselves for a nickel
I think I'm being generous when I say a nickel actually. "Hi, I'm [insert anonymous name here], owner of Pointless Carpeting." No one cares.

6) Fake testimonials
A good testimonial can serve a purpose, but when they're made up and read by friends and family, they couldn't fool a first grader. "I...love...how fast...my computer...runs. Now. Thanks SpeedyPC." My ears are bleeding.

7) High-speed legal disclaimers
If you have to put 10 seconds of legal copy in a 30-second ad, and that legal copy has to be read by John Moschitta, Jr., then maybe you shouldn't be doing radio. No one can understand it anyway, it's madness.

8 ) The blatant set-ups
These make my teeth itch. "Oh Doreen, these stubborn stains never come out, how do you get your whites so white?" "John, you're 52 and your hair looks so dark and thick, what's your secret?" No one talks like this. Ever.

9) Bad comedy and fake laughter
I lumped these together because they're both as bad as each other. Humor is tricky, most radio ads that try it fail miserably. And that insincere laughter from poorly paid actors isn't any better.

10) My biggest beef. There's almost no creativity.
I can remember great ads for Tango and Hamlet Cigars. I think the Phillips ads are still great now. Most radio spots these days are boring, repetitive nonsense that irritate and annoy. Radio can be great. It has the potential to be amazingly effective and memorable. Don't think of radio as a throwaway, or let your client farm it out to the local radio station "creatives."

Thanks to Paul Suggett / About.com Guide

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