Saturday, June 11, 2011

Workplace Relationships: Men Have Drama Too

A lot of people mistakenly believe that only women have drama.  I often jokingly say that my next book is going to be titled, "Men have Drama Too."   Whether it's a sports figure, an actor or politician, there are literally hundreds of examples of men creating drama or participating in drama.

For example, here is a YouTube video of the Top 10 Bad Sportsmanship Moments, and 9 of those are examples of highly paid professional men, punching, kicking, screaming and throwing tantrums. What's worse, is that these men get paid huge sums of money to play hockey, baseball, basketball, or football.  We want our sports heroes to be role models and we continue to be disappointed.

One reason we continue to be surprised and disappointed is because we put hem on a pedestal. We make up stories about people who have a special talent or loads of money or fame and then when they show us they are weak in other areas, we throw stones at them.

The fact is,  DRAMA is a human condition and not particular to women having cat fights in the office.  Drama is also a loss of self-control; an excuse for not honoring sacred commitments, a justification for violence, and game playing at the expense of tax payers.

Here are just a few examples.

See if you can connect the dots to see how these decisions, ways of living, or actions created drama for the individual or for those directly connected to them, drama meaning, any obstacle to peace or prosperity.

Arnold Schwarzenegger
It was recently revealed that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a child with one of his household staff and kept it hidden for nearly 14 years.  Perhaps it was exciting living with a secret, but eventually that secret became drama when the news erupted.  This revelation has broken up his marriage and has ruined his chances for any future career in politics, after all who would trust him now?

John Edwards
John Edwards ran his presidential campaign on the platform of morality and fast forward a few years and John Edwards may soon be indicted for using campaign funds to cover up his affair with a staffer. Thank goodness he was not elected president. Talk about drama!  This extramarital affair was an obstacle to his peace as it broke up his marriage as well as to his prosperity as his career is probably completely derailed to the fact that he lied about this affair.

Kobe Bryant
Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 by the NBA for a gay slur. Let's face it: The fine probably didn't hurt his prosperity in the financial sense, however this is yet another blemish on his record and could definitely hurt his reputation.  What is disappointing is that our sports figures are supposed to be role models, yet they continue to exhibit character flaws and lack of self-discipline.  At the same time,  part of the problem is that we put these individuals on a pedestal instead of recognizing they also have their challenges.

What I do know about drama is that any pattern that keeps getting in your way will eventually become the obstacle to your peace or prosperity somewhere in the future.

Charlie Sheen
People seem to love Charlie because he is congruent.  Unlike Jim Edwards or Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlie has never tried to lead people to believe he was anything other than who he portrays in his character in Two and a Half Men.  In addition, the standards are different for Hollywood movie stars than they are for sports heroes or politicians.What is disturbing is to see someone who is  so blessed financially, struggle with self-control and addiction.  It doesn't take a psychologist to see that Charlie's drama and his denial  is an obstacle to peace.

Will his antics hurt his prosperity?

Charlie Sheen was eventually fired from his show, Two and a Half Men. Losing this job is an obstacle to his prosperity as he was earning a million per episode.

Donald Trump
Even in the business world we see powerful men playing drama games and acting like the persecutor on the Drama Triangle. Take Donald Trump, for example, who wanted to see President Obama's complete birth certificate.

After the certificate was publicized he still was not convinced and on he pushed, taking credit for his power to make the president comply.

This tirade was a time waster, just on a bigger scale than what most of us see on a daily basis.  No doubt a lot of money and resources were also wasted, in the end Donald was the butt of the joke at a political dinner, when he was roasted by Seth Myers.  (It looked to me like he lost a little peace at this dinner.)

The point is, all of us, (men and women)l have some drama. All  of us participate in drama.
Drama is not particular to any one type of career, or professional.  We are all in the boat together.

Don't put others on a pedestal, even if they are a sports hero, a business giant, or a movie star or your boss.  Just because they have a title, doesn't mean they are drama free.  Just because they make lots of money, or enjoy the benefits of fame doesn't mean they don't have relationship problems or emotional issues.

Drama doesn't need to be the order of the day. Get off of the Drama Triangle. Get clear about who you are and what you are committed to, and then make your decisions based on who you are, not on what everyone else does. You are the one who has dominion over your life.  Let your light shine and be the star, the hero, and the authority of your own life.

Thanks to Stop Workplace Drama / ICARE Presentations


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