Win Friends, Influence People By Reading A Leadership Classic

If you have been dwelling under a rock for the past several decades and you missed the digital revolution, then you might consider buying the upcoming book from Dale Carnegie & Associates, How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age. The $26 hardcover, due out in October from Simon & Schuster, includes much of the wisdom found in the original 1936 book by the late writer, lecturer and communication guru Dale Carnegie. In order to make Carnegie's lessons appear up to date, the book sandwiches them between references to Lady Gaga and recent movies like The King's Speech, and bland observations about  the speed and sweep of online media ("With an immense digital canvas on which to communicate our thoughts comes an equally immense canvas of accountability called public access").

No such embellishment is needed. The new book isn't awful, and includes apt recent anecdotes to illustrate Carnegie's principals. Tiger Woods' vague admission of "transgressions" and plea for privacy, and subsequent PR nightmare, show how wise Carnegie was when he wrote, "if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically." (It seems Anthony Weiner never read Carnegie either.) For Carnegie's pointer to "appeal to the nobler motives," the book describes a mobile phone application that lets users scan a potential retail purchase and get information on whether the manufacturer employs slave labor.  But rather than bolster the points in the 75-year-old text, these stories read more like filler than necessary wisdom.

You're best served by reading the original. I confess I hadn't picked it up until now, and was surprised to find it such a crisp, engaging read. Carnegie's origins were also a revelation to me: Born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey in 1988 to a poor farming family, he grew up milking cows and feeding pigs in rural Missouri. After college, he worked various sales jobs, before moving to New York City to study drama. He didn't make it as an actor but he found he was a gifted teacher of public speaking when he started offering courses at the YMCA where he was staying. In 1912 he started his company, The Dale Carnagey Course.

A talented marketer, in the 1920s Carnagey changed the spelling of his last name to Carnegie, so he would be associated with the steel baron to whom he bore no relation. Carnegie died in 1955. His company, Dale Carnegie & Associates, lives on as a franchise operation with offices in 80 countries and more than 2,700 instructors who offer one- to three-day seminars that start at $1,500, to companies, government groups and individuals. Warren Buffett and Lee Iacocca are among those who credit the Carnegie method with teaching them valuable public speaking and leadership lessons.

Among the charms of the original best-seller is Carnegie's engaging, straightforward storytelling style, interspersed with historical references. For his first principal, "don't criticize, condemn or complain," he describes an engineering safety coordinator who tries two different approaches to employees who fail to wear their hard hats. First the coordinator tells the workers that they have broken a safety regulation. In response, the workers put on their hats for a moment, then remove them when the coordinator leaves. The next time he asks them if their hats are uncomfortable or don't fit, and reminds them in an agreeable tone that the hats are there to protect them from injury. Many more workers comply with the safety requirement.

Carnegie was a fan of Abraham Lincoln; in 1932 he published a biography of the 16^th president. Throughout How To Win Friends, he uses tales from Lincoln's life to illustrate his points. In his chapter on leadership, he includes a famous letter Lincoln wrote to General Joseph Hooker, at a point when the Civil War seemed to be turning against the Union. Lincoln's intent was to get the general to change tactics, but he preceded each admonishment with a compliment. "I believe you to be a brave and skillful soldier, which, of course, I like," wrote Lincoln, who added three more items of praise before carefully saying that he wanted the general to alter his strategy.

Carnegie exhorts readers to use kindness, appreciation and empathy to get what they want. Smile, listen closely, avoid arguments, try to make others feel important, compliment liberally and talk about your own mistakes. As Lincoln did, always begin with praise before critiquing someone's performance, and then if possible, only call attention to mistakes indirectly. For three quarters of a century, this method has proved effective. It hardly needs updating.

Thanks to Susan Adams / Blogs Forbes
http://blogs.forbes.com/susanadams/2011/07/13/win-friends-influence-people-by-reading-a-leadership-classic/?partner=alerts